Day 221: The Flow

I am in the flow. Going with it and loving every moment of it. Considering my star sign, there’s nothing better than being in the flow. That exhilarating sense of excitement was brought about by something as simple as moving my body to the beat. Yes, I went dancing. And it was more than I had hoped for.

So, what happened yesterday evening in one dance studio? Well, as there’s exactly one month (10/10 being the magical date of performance) to go until I shall be on stage with a new choreography, I felt that I needed to improve my dancing skills and learn some new moves. To give my body some new impulses. I do have my weekly burlesque classes and I absolutely love their atmosphere (it might be an exaggeration to say that burlesque saved my life but… it indeed saved my mental health while I was slipping into divorce-mode). Yesterday, I even realised that currently, my comfort zone translates into “doing a sexy impro of taking off a lace stocking in front of others”. That’s just what I did two days ago. While I used to hate impro a tiny bit, I now love it. But the music has to be right, it has to have that special something that flicks on my “let’s-move” switch. The stars were aligned for Tuesday’s class, so the magic happened.


I needed something new. Something more. Something outside my comfort zone. So, I signed up for two trial classes. There I was, terrified, excited, in a dance studio where the number of people under 20 years of age seemed to be surprisingly high (whereas burlesque seems to be for women who have already given birth or something, although I haven’t). The first class I took was called Urban Contemporary. It started with some strength exercises and ballet stuff and ended with cool contemporary choreo which should be absolutely my thing – powerful, strong, rather slow – yes, that’s my thing. I didn’t get all the moves right but I assume that this all comes with practice. Well, that was kind of nice. Different. New kind of moves. Maybe I could take something from there? Maybe.

The second class was called House30+ which meant that the people in it might be a bit older. Do I have an issue with my age? Hmm, no? Yes? A tiny bit? OK, I feel young, I want to be young, my body is young. I’m forever 25. And, hey, 32 is not bad either, really, it isn’t. Before the class, I had never thought that dancing to house music might actually include some moves. But it does. Possibly, you don’t think about them when dancing in a club but you might still apply the moves subconsciously. When I dance at home or on the beach or anywhere, I don’t think too much what I am actually doing. But when I do… I realise that I’m doing something that I learned from a belly dance class or burlesque or zumba or salsa or wherever. I embed learned movements into my improvisation. I blend different styles. And this is super cool. This is why I need to try different styles. They enrich me.

Anyhow, the house steps were slightly confusing as well, although I kind of coped with the class. But then… boom, the impro minutes in the end when the teacher said that do whatever you like, it doesn’t have to be house. Me and the mirror. Me and music. Me and dance. I didn’t care who else was in the room. I was so free. And these movements that came out of my body? Wow, who put them there? Didn’t know I could be so cool. Might sound a bit narcissistic, but I love watching myself dance in the mirror. Maybe that’s also why it is always better in a studio, rather than at home. I now want to have a huge room with mirrors at home. And a bigger home. Or own a dance studio. What a crazy idea! (I actually told this to someone and their answer was: “I want the same!” How cool is that?)

Anyhow, I walked half the way to home and then took a bus for the second half. Mind you, it was pouring heavily! But I was still so happy because of these dance moments that I wanted to continue listening to music and dancing on the street. Which I, of course, did. Been doing that a lot lately. Or, more specifically, this year. Dancing really has changed me. And I love it so much.

And the flow? I feel utterly happy now. Because of dancing. Because of all the great people in my life. Because my creativity is alive and kicking again. Because I have recreated myself. Because I am happy. Because I have made peace with myself. Because, because, because.

Not sure where the flow is taking me but I do enjoy surfing.

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