Day 612: Why Doesn’t Anyone Follow?

I have probably already touched the issue of how I love to start things. I love beginnings because this is where I burst with energy. New beginnings are filled with hope because everything is still beautiful and everything is possible. The obstacles have not occurred yet. That’s why I love planning and starting things. Often, however, I leave things incomplete, hanging somewhere in the void.

I am not proud of this.

I feel much better when I do finish things. When something transforms from the “incomplete” status into the magical “ready”. Sometimes I even force myself through a bad book because I don’t want to have yet another thing that I didn’t complete.

When I start something new, I am always eager to proceed with it. And I want it now. When I have to wait, my enthusiasm dwindles and dies. If no one follows the initiative, it also dies. I abandon the project. The problem with my initiatives is that hardly anyone follows me into the void when I say “let’s go!”. Is it trust? Or is it the fact that I am too quiet. I have had the issue of not being heard since I was a child. In a large crowd, my voice hardly ever stands out. I succeed in smaller groups. In the latter, I even love taking the initiative. Larger ones? Nope.

Maybe there is a lack of following because my ideas are not tempting enough for other people. They might seem like the right things to proceed to me but not for the others. I don’t do market research before I come out with a new idea. I possibly should but don’t have the patience nor interest for this. I just want to get started. When the inspiration hits, I must nurture it right away or it dies. Maybe I do rush into things without a proper plan. And then get tired of them because no one else comes on board. Oh, bother.

Maybe it’s just a passing motivation crisis and I shall find a thing that other people also want to follow. Maybe. Let’s wait it out.

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