As you might have noticed, the daily posts have disappeared. I did consider writing them in retrospective like I have done before. But. What’s the point in doing that? Even my husband (and he usually doesn’t say negative things, so it’s bad) has been telling me that occasionally the posts seem rushed and do not include anything significant. They lack a meaning. A depth. I know this. I haven’t been enjoying writing the posts. I just wrote them because I felt I had to. But do I really have to do it? No. This is my blog. These are my goals. No way should I torture myself. So, I am not doing it anymore.
It is July 23, a Tuesday, day 636. I am writing this post here and now. I won’t be backdating it like I used to. I did consider writing several posts. For instance, about Estonian Adventure Run, not a race but a fun running event that I participated in on July 14. Or about the open day at farms, which was this Saturday and which I visited with my husband and mother. But the thought of writing those events, which I did enjoy, a lot, made me postpone the writing. It seemed such a hard and time-consuming task that I didn’t want to start blogging. However, me not blogging also weighed hard on me. I am not THAT busy. I do have stuff to do but I am not really doing it. I am kind of tired. I have time for blogging but I am not doing it. Awful. What am I doing anyway? Just the basics. Just the minimum I need to do. Even with all the energy inside me, I am not using it. And this maddens me. I want to be engaged in activities. I want to be active. Basically, I want my new job to begin. I do not yet know what it is going to be. I have applied to various places, though. The not knowing, I guess, is the worst part. I don’t know what is going to happen with my career. I do know that I want to do something new. That I want to be engaged and busy and give my best. But to what? Let’s wait and see. Wait and see. And not go crazy during the waiting.
It is day 636 and tomorrow it will be one year from the day when I started this blog. A year has flown by. Is it time for summaries? Maybe. However, you won’t find those progress reports here anymore either. I need some more freedom in this blog right now. Otherwise, it is going to choke me! I won’t be writing about every day. You could get a quick update about my life by following me on Instagram. The account is also linked with the blog page and you can click on the images to view the posts. Quick posts on Instagram are much more relaxing. I will be posting some longer stuff here as well but not as often. Quality, not quantity, right?
Bye for now!
P.S. Let me know that you exist, dear reader. Say hello! Who are you?